![]() ![]() In this conversation, Frodo says there is a change in his uncle Bilbo and he thinks that Gandalf knows the reason. In this film, Frodo, who is played by Elijah Wood, welcomes his wizard friend Gandalf to his home. On December 19th, 2001 the movie The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring was released in theaters around the United States. Now, read about how time is not a healer but it takes time to heal.If you have ever seen The Lord of the Rings, then you are familiar with this memorable quote spoken by the character Frodo. Let me know what you think in the comments. Not only is this up to you, but it ultimately might be better for you to keep your secret within. In time, you may choose to reveal the secret or you may not. I don’t think you should feel pressured to reveal anything. If it doesn’t feel right, take a step back and say no more. We see how you go with every step you take towards revealing it or not. We work through it, asking such questions as “without saying what the secret is, how would you feel if someone else knew this secret? How do you imagine I might think of you if I did know it?” Using techniques like this we can try to deal with secret telling, without the secret being told. When I work with someone who has a secret and wants to tell it, I encourage them to let it out slowly. When we tell someone something, we can't un-tell them so we need to be careful we aren't burning our bridges with them. We really need our places of emotional safety. Keep your secrets until you are sure you want to reveal them. What I am saying is that you should keep your secrets until you are comfortable about how and when they come out – and that might be ‘never'. I'm not saying that telling your secrets or terrible secrets is always going to make things worse or isn't therapeutic. ![]() In many cases, it makes the therapeutic relationship unbearable for the client and the therapy ends. This secret, kept so long by the client – perhaps because it seems shameful – is now known by someone else. Going back to the example of the ‘terrible secret’, despite the client’s intention that this be the start of a working relationship with a psychotherapist, in many cases, this act of disclosure can actually spell the end of it. ![]() However, for other people they can seem suddenly exposed. They feel differently.įor some people this change can mean they suddenly experience being unburdened. When you keep your secrets, in a sense you are keeping yourself safe.įor many people to disclose a secret then changes their relationship to it. The keeping of your private thoughts can preserve and build your sense of identity it is almost as if your self coheres around the secret and the preserving of it. To have and keep a secret is to be an individual. In a clinical situation, someone might go to a psychotherapist or counsellor and in the very first session tell them something that they have never told anyone else. Some people can have what seems to them like ‘terrible secrets’ – something that has been carried for years and has become a burden. I believe that this type of secret, these terrible secrets, becomes so important to us that it actually forms a core part of our personality in some sense we build ourselves around our secrets. You may not even be sure why you keep it private, but it feels important for you to keep your secrets. It may be a part of our unfinished business. It is something about ourselves which we have kept private, sometimes for many years. The second sort of secret is something that lives at the heart of us, sometimes feeling like ‘terrible secrets'. These hidden things are things that we are willing to trade in social situations, and if we are getting advice about this, it is the opposite of ‘keep your secrets'. ![]() This is the variety of ‘secret’ that some people share on Facebook, sometimes called ‘oversharing’. The first of these is the secret that they are busting to tell it might be something as minor as a piece of gossip, or, it might be something a bit revealing about themselves. It seems that people can see their secrets as one of two sorts. © Riccardo Fissore - Two types of secrets ![]()
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